Loss is something that everyone experiences at some point in their life. This may be because you’ve lost a loved one, or because you’ve experienced a difficult life event such as the loss of a relationship, loss of your health or your home.
Grief might be a new experience for you, or you may have experienced it before. Either way, understanding some of the experiences shared with other people can help you cope with your own loss and bereavement.
Here are some of the experiences people often describe when they’re dealing with loss:
Feelings you might have
Sadness – intense and on-going
Guilt – about not initially feeling pain about the loss
Guilt – about interactions with the person who has died
Guilt – about gradually getting back to ‘normal’ life and at times not ‘remembering’ to feel sad
Anger – at the situation or person, or at what you’ve lost, which can be overwhelming and sometimes suddenly triggered by reminders
Mood swings and tearfulness
How your body might feel
Thoughts you might have
This can’t be happening to me
I can’t go on without them
What’s the point of continuing?
Why did it have to happen to me?
My life will never be the same
I should have spent more time with them
I wish we didn’t have that argument
How could they have done that to me?
I wish I was dead
I’m not grieving ‘normally’ or ‘correctly’
Things you might do
Not sleep well
Not eat well
Seek reminders of the person who has died e.g. be in their home or with their belongings, or perhaps at times even think you see or hear the deceased person
Not want to be alone – seek proximity
Want to be alone all the time – avoid people
Want to talk about the person all the time – not want to talk about them.
Do unhelpful things to cope with the feelings – drugs, alcohol, cutting yourself.
Try to block feelings out
If these sound familiar, you can find out more about coping with loss and bereavement in the ‘Learn’ section of this website. You’ll find some helpful advice in the ‘Manage’ section too.
If you, or someone you know, is in crisis and in imminent danger of causing harm to themselves or others, call 999 immediately